It's not pun-ny.

- Apparently Neil Armstrong used to tell unfunny jokes about the Moon, and follow them up with, oh well, I guess you had to be there.

- I've been seeing a weather girl, thought it'd make a change to date a woman that wasn't always right.

- Facebook is a lot like ancient Egypt. People writing on walls and worshiping cats.

- If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer....oh wait, he does.

- My new favorite band is Dog Whistle, you haven't heard them.

- Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.

- I was going to get a power-gate for my driveway entrance, but with gate power comes gate responsibility.

- School children shouldn't be separated according to academic ability, it'll only end in tiers.

- I've just bought a new Prince Charles commemorative teapot, it never reigns, but it pours.

- Dyslexic IT technicians wait ages for a USB, then three come along at once.

- Everything is edible, some things though, are only edible once.

- A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: Short enough to rouse the interest, but long enough to cover the essentials.

- Money can't buy happiness. But it's more comfortable to cry in a Benz than it is on a bike.

- My friends horse will only come out when it gets dark. It's becoming a night mare.

- I wrote a song about a tortilla. It's actually more of a wrap.

- I was once bit by a German Shepard. Then he apologized and even introduced me to his dog.

- I got an e-mail saying: "At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!". I thought to myself: That's just Spam.

- What do you call kids with lisps, born in whorehouses? Brothel sprouts.

- I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.

- I just found out my new toaster isn't waterproof. I was shocked.

B-A-N-A-N-A-S

Minions are awesome.

Need I say more?

Except this:

That video really is bananas.

Nostalgia

I spent 11 summers at the same place.

From 2000-2010, I went to the same place, with the same people, and did almost the same thing.

And even though the last four years of it was grueling manual labor...I loved it.

For the last three summers I've been telling myself to go visit...but who wants to drive 5+ hours (before traffic kicks in) round trip, just for the sake of visiting?

But this July 4th, I went out and did it.

I went back upstate...and can't believe how much I missed in.

Whilst I only have a few people that I still knew there, and some of them are miserable grouches, it was good to see them all again.

I even helped a little, and did some manual labor, voluntarily, for old times sake. And loved it.

I miss those days...

I wanna go back...

Google's Gaming System

That's right, you read that title correctly. Google has a gaming system to rival PS4, XBOX One and the Wii U.

It uses a wireless controller. And chances are, you already own it.

In Google Chrome, go to Chrome.com/campaigns/rollit.

It will load up, and then give you another link to open up on your phone (I've only tried it on Android...) and a code to put in.

You then have a wireless controller (your phone) to play on your system (laptop/deskop/etc).

And then you can play Carnival Style Skee Ball!!!

Now, rumours are that they will also be coming out with a racing game shortly, and then after that, who knows. Stay tuned!

And don't forget, you can always go to Google Images and type in "Atari Breakout". Enjoy yourself.

Blogaversary

I was going to ignore it altogether...but really, my life has changed a little bit with all of you in it.

So to my 89 posts, 12,000+ Page Views, and those 9 special followers...

Thank you.

Without you guuuuuuuuuuuuu

10,000 Page Views

Not much to say in this post...except that when I started blogging, less than a year ago...I never thought I would have 1,000 page views, let alone 10,000.

So this is just me blowing that little paper horn that people use for New Years, in celebration of a mini milestone.

So thanks for all the reads, people of the internet!

1600 Penn

So for those that have explored the minds, they have come to learn that there are very few Network Television Shows, that have yet to be watched.

But regardless of that...I had yet to see an episode of "1600 Penn".

I have seen lots of bad reviews for it...and the ads were pretty terrible...but what else is one to do on a boring afternoon?

So I started watching.

Nine episodes later:

I laughed.
I cried.
I enjoyed myself.
And I quite seriously have no idea where the last three hours went.

The show is fun.

Sure, some of the story lines are stolen from shows like "The West Wing" (Thanks Donna Moss and Josh Lyman for some great years), but that doesn't take away from a decent comedy.

And with shows like The Office (awesome) and 30 Rock (eh) going into retirement, maybe this can be a good placeholder for Thursday nights?

If only I didn't have three other hours of programming to watch that night already.

Yay. Word play.

Suggestions for the blog? You know what to do with them :)

Why Do We, Miss Judge?

Happiest Day Ever

For those that missed it, yesterday was the happiest day of the year in China!!!

:)

Keep Waiting for the Switch

Location, Location, Location

Some of you may have noticed by now the "location" tag on all my blogs.


They all come from a seemingly random place, but upon closer inspection, they all have a little something to do with the blog post itself. Be it a related word to the post, or a sarcastic joke of what it is.


For those of you who haven't noticed, or even those who have, I decided after a month of posts (now) to compile the complete list in one post, and give the reasoning to them all.


And yes, they are all real locations.

• Big Beaver, PA - Because it's just funny.
• Climax, GA - Yes, my first few locations were kinda dirty...it was before I started getting cute with them.
• Zigzag, OR - This was on my first poem, which went all over the place
• Money Island Beach, NC - On a post about my sanity...
• Niceville, FL - The schedule to my madness, which has mostly been followed til now - Go me!
• Crackersport, PA - On my first sports post.
• Cranberry Marsh, WI - The attention span there is probably not that large.
• Looneyville, NY - While introducing the The Shomer Toucher...I apologize.
• Funkhouser, IL - When I was in a funk about being used.
• Interwebs - While creating a now non-used Twitter account.
• Hotchkissville, CT - "Kiss" while talking about the choices of Shomer Negiah
• Bacon, IN - A poem that ended with a quote on bacon.
• Kiryas Joel, NY - On a post about Chassidim...if you don't get this one, I can't help you.
• Fort Dick, CA - Another sports post, which is generally a manly thing.
• Goose Egg, WY - On The Shomer Touchers first post. A goose egg amongst my golden eggs. Eh, who am I kidding, TSTs posts are brilliant.
• Dumbell, WY - Talking about the Asifah....I think it was appropriate.
• Hand, SD - On a post about handwriting.
• Nunapitsinchak, AK - Don't ask. It was just an awesome name.
• Mt Homa, Kenya - President Barack Hussein Obama's "Hometown"
• Sao Paolo, Brazil - Another sports post, with multiple stories on soccer (futbol), so only appropriate to bring in Brazil.
• Guide, Hainan, Qinghai, China - Because there was no correct place to stick this post.
• Lincoln Park, Chicago, IL - Well, because it was Linkin Park lyrics...
• Angerville, France - I was angry...
• Bieber, CA - Poor city was named after that Canadian girl.
• Fukita, Itano, Itano District, Tokushima Prefecture, Japan - It was a thought. I needed a longer location name then the thought.
• Whatcom County Jail, 311 Grand St, Bellingham, WA 98225, USA - I was talking about petitions, including ones to get people out of jail.
• Tomb of the Unknowns, VA - Was there any place more appropriate for Memorial Day?
• San Andreas Fault, CA - Talking about peoples faults.
• Nadi, Fiji - This post, since that's how many people will still be reading by this point. Nada.

Cheerio people. One month in :) how long can I last? (That's what you said last night, what a coincidence.)

With Emphasis This Time - Tanka Thursday

Last week I began
A quest to write poetry
But one thing it lacked
Was substance and character
And a voice of discussion


So when writing now
I think of something to voice
And again I can't
But maybe that's much better
To just spew randomness out


Thoughts are misleading
But random sayings say lots
About character
And what the mind thinks about
When forced to put things in words


I'll now hear comments
About needing more saying
And less of: Just words
So for that I say: Forgive
It's hard to write daily posts


I know I brought that
Upon myself to fulfill
But try it, I will
And poetry may die out
Like the Mayans and Incas


Counting syllables
Well, that is the easy part
Its substance that's hard
To put words together while
Still sticking to those limits


So maybe this ends
The fine tradition it was
That my readers know
Better as: Tanka Thursday
Two weeks of it was enough


On that note, I end with a poem I found online, and you'll probably like it better with the picture found here:
Roses are red,
Bacon is also red,
Poems are hard,
Bacon.

Anonymity of the Interwebs

Many people go online every day. Using profiles and names that all the friends and people they know, are familiar with.

And then there are the rest of us…the unknowns…those that will write stuff, and remain secretive about their identity.

But how secret is your identity?

Little things written in blogs, such as:

-         My birthday is tomorrow…

or

-         I went to _____ for school for 12 years…

All spoil your identity.

Those that know you, even in the faintest ways, can suddenly understand who you are, and know who the real you is, losing your fake identity.

Recently Baby Carrot wrote a new blog, talking about setting people up, for dating and marriage, using only information that he/she has garnered from the blogs.

Are these all viable options?

Will Masculine Jew and Thinking Jew Girl get together? Probably not.

Does The Unconventional Bochur now have a thing for Musings? Again, probably not.

But if we explore the reasoning's behind Baby Carrot's actions, maybe he/she has a point? The fake wall you are putting up, is really similar to your real self.

Maybe these secret identities are not so secret to yourself, because it is the real you.

Many of you may wonder who I am...and that's alright. That's half the fun of the game known as "Anonymity of the Interwebs".

But until I am ready to reveal myself, I can guarantee to remain anonymous.

Because I, I'm the real Batman.