Religion or Happiness?

There are some lines that we hear over and over throughout our lives.

     - “Don’t worry, be happy.”

     -  “Live life to the fullest.”

We are also told our whole lives, especially in the Orthodox Jewish community, do everything according to the letter of the law, and keep religion at the forefront.

Well, what happens when these two things don’t meet?

Do you give up happiness? Or do you slowly let religion slip away?

My personal opinion = Live life to the fullest, don’t worry about anything else, be happy, and if you have to bend the laws of religion a little, then so be it.

I know, I know, I’m going to have a lot of you up in arms over that statement, saying that religion has to mean the most, and you need to sacrifice for it…and I agree.

Most of us sacrifice a lot for religion, such as having to go out of our way to get kosher food, which also costs more.  Not working on Shabbos (the Sabbath). At the same time, not hanging out/talking with secular friends on that day (since you can’t text/email/call them).

But at the same time, some things that you are/aren’t allowed to do, make you miserable, and prevent you from enjoying life.

So I wonder: Does religion want you to follow it and be miserable? Or do they want you to follow it, as long as you are somewhat happy?

No one is perfect; we all make mistakes, religiously. And most of the time, some of us regret those mistakes.

Overall, I’m sure most of my readers are religious, and keep most, if not all, of the laws that they possibly could.

But I’m curious how many of them bend the laws once in a while, and which laws those are; and if your anonymity isn’t enough for you to say it, then post anonymously, and not under a pseudonym.

Even the slightest of things, so that we can begin to see what the issues are amongst us, especially since after my last post, people doubted what actions people do/don’t do.

Hopefully I’ll hear enough back, to talk more on these subjects.

And remember, I'm a nobody, and nobody is perfect. Therefore I am perfect.

The Double Jewish Identity

Living as an Orthodox Jew (that is the first piece of info my followers learn about me) means that you have a double identity, whether you admit it or not. And this applies to both men and women.

You have that one that you show as you are walking down the street, or meeting new people, in which you are the perfect Jew, and keep this persona, so that matchmakers, and/or other Jews around you, think you are the person you are supposed to be.

The other side is the real you. The persona that maybe your closest friends and MAYBE your family knows. Ranging in things that aren’t necessarily following the Orthodox Jewish standard.

It can be many things, such as:

-          Claiming to Daven (pray) three times a day, while really, you do it maybe once, if you decide you feel like it.

-          Cursing/Dirty jokes

-          Eating at Non-Kosher-Certified Dairy Restaurants

-          Masturbation

-          Texting/Emails on Shabbos (Sabbath)

-          Pay full price for anything

Clearly the last one was a joke, but the other ones listed are all things that either I do, or I know people who have admitted to me that they do.

Are we proud of doing some/any of those things?


No.

But we do them; because they are habits that we have gotten into already, and either can’t, or would rather not, stop doing.


This is what stands in the way of great relationships. The hidden things you do in your life, that prevent you from finding the perfect other. While others may be doing the same things you are, they can’t admit it until you are further into a relationship…which you never get to, since you both think you are hiding stuff that just isn’t right for the other one.

And always remember, the early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Topics Topics Topics

So, after my first post yesterday, I soon started to realize, that doing a first post, and starting a blog, was easy…its keeping it going that’s the hard part.

So in my conversations with a few people that read it, aka: the comments, I tried to get a feel for what people wanted to hear.

And what did I learn?

That no one can get along with each other, and everyone wants something different. Which I guess is what makes the internet so appealing. You get everything on here: From social networks to news sites; from information to uselessness; from Sesame Street for Adults, to Porn for Children (or is it the other way around? I never remember).

So I said then, I would discuss anything and everything that anyone wanted to read about, because if I didn’t, what would be the point of a Wondering Mind? (Shameless self-promotion, I know, but the name is only good if it’s used.)

One blogger, who we won’t name, but we will call ‘Altie’ (sorry, I don’t do anonymity on this site, except for myself J ), suggested wisely:

“When you put your mind to it, you suddenly start seeing things to write about. Interesting things that happen to you that day. And you find yourself thinking, ‘That was so funny/interesting/ridiculous that I just HAVE to share it on my blog.’”

And to that I say: Nope. As mentioned in my first post, which if you haven’t read by now, I highly suggest you do (as you can still see, I love the self-promotions), anonymity is key to a great blog in which you talk about others, religious observances/deviances from religion, and the likes, because if you get too specific on things you see or happen to you, your hidden identity start to fall apart. While it may be a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle, it is still able to get put together.

As for another users comment, who from here forth shall be known as ‘Sarah’, she said “Talk about dating! Girls are constantly talking about dating and we wanna hear it from the guys perspective.” Sarah, I’m sure it will come up in topics from time to time, because it’s one that is hard to stay away from. But if you have something specific that should be spoken about, or want to hear addressed, just say what it is, and I’ll promise to do a post on it.

And I offer that out to anyone else that reads this post, if you want me to talk about something, no matter what it is, just tell me the topic, and what it is specifically you have issues with/want to hear about it, and I’ll write a post about it.

And always remember, that if you go to a toga party, dressed as a goat, you might be dyslexic.

Anonymity of the Interwebs

Many people go online every day. Using profiles and names that all the friends and people they know, are familiar with.

And then there are the rest of us…the unknowns…those that will write stuff, and remain secretive about their identity.

But how secret is your identity?

Little things written in blogs, such as:

-         My birthday is tomorrow…

or

-         I went to _____ for school for 12 years…

All spoil your identity.

Those that know you, even in the faintest ways, can suddenly understand who you are, and know who the real you is, losing your fake identity.

Recently Baby Carrot wrote a new blog, talking about setting people up, for dating and marriage, using only information that he/she has garnered from the blogs.

Are these all viable options?

Will Masculine Jew and Thinking Jew Girl get together? Probably not.

Does The Unconventional Bochur now have a thing for Musings? Again, probably not.

But if we explore the reasoning's behind Baby Carrot's actions, maybe he/she has a point? The fake wall you are putting up, is really similar to your real self.

Maybe these secret identities are not so secret to yourself, because it is the real you.

Many of you may wonder who I am...and that's alright. That's half the fun of the game known as "Anonymity of the Interwebs".

But until I am ready to reveal myself, I can guarantee to remain anonymous.

Because I, I'm the real Batman.