What would be remembered from it all?
What would be missed?
What would the hopes have been?
I dont even know myself at allWould anything be different?
I thought I would be happy by now
But the more I try to push it
I realize gotta let go of control
Would a second chance at everything turn out the same?
Would more people show how they care?
Would they just keep saying things are normal?
When I wrote and posted a poem 20+ months ago, with a deeper message hidden in the words, via colors and vertical reading, only one person finally understood it (after some prodding).It's just a sparkBut it's enough to keep me goingAnd when it's dark out, no one's aroundIt keeps glowing
It meant a lot to me that poem, because it was me trying to express some deep stuff inside me, and not being able to actually say the words out loud, because they are just as scary out loud as they are hidden.
Every night I try my best to dreamTomorrow makes it betterAnd I wake up to the cold realityAnd not a thing is changed
Some days are ups...some days are downs....and some days you just don't feel anything.And the salt in my wounds isnt burning any more than it used toIts not that I dont feel the painIts just Im not afraid of hurting anymore
And there isn't always a place to let that out. You want to...you need to...but just can't...just don't know how to...just don't know if you want to...but it will all come out at some point, and it probably won't be pretty.
I chose the lyrics to Paramore's Last Hope as the underlying in this post, because it embodies a lot of what I am feeling....and some of what I want to be feeling.And the blood of these veins isnt pumping any less than it ever hasAnd thats the hope I haveThe only thing I know is keeping me alive
I know it's rare for me to post on here (and in some ways I apologize for that), but sometimes I need to get things out, so thanks for those still here listening.
(So if I let go of control now, I can be strong)And when its dark out, no ones aroundIt keeps glowingIt's just a sparkBut it's enough to keep me going(So if I keep my eyes closed, with a blind hope)And when its dark out, no ones aroundIt keeps glowing