Saturday, December 14, 2013

Great Laws - Ice Missles

Connecticut has a new law going into effect at the end of the month, that is already in place in many states, and which needs to spread to all locales.

The law is against "Ice Missiles". 

Ice Missiles are what happens when you don't clean the snow properly off the top of your car, and then go for a drive, shooting snow and ice off the top of your car, onto other cars around you, or passerby's.

True story: I know people who have died from ice missiles. As another car stopped, the ice shot off the roof, and through their windshield, killing them.

So take the extra few minutes and clean all the snow off your car, even if your state doesn't have the law.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Splendid F***in' Week

Had plans with a friend, those got cancelled.

Then tonight, I texted someone I had thought was a good friend, and got back a "Who's this?".

For starters, who deletes contacts these days, when you can have an unlimited number of them?

Second, who deletes a number, and someone off Facebook and Skype, and doesn't say a word to them, or give them a reason as to why they are doing so.



Truthfully, reading back those last two words, it's better for me to not be associated with people like that.

I can't even begin to delve into the mindset of why someone would eliminate someone entirely from their life, without giving a reason.

Falling outs over time. Understandable.

Fights. Understandable.

We were talking a few days ago just fine, and suddenly, (as HOVA likes to say) poof -- vamoose, son of a bitch.

I know it's been 5-6 weeks since my last post. But if I never post again, at least people may begin to get an understanding of where things sped-up down the slope.

Updated (literally two minutes after posting):

Got a text from a third person, telling me basically: "It has been nice knowing you. Have a nice life."

Come on, bring it on world!

I'm gonna at least go out in style...

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Law Firms Getting Sexist

The law firms of "Clifford Chance" sent out a memo last week, to all female employees, with handy tips on what to do, entitled: "Presentation Tips for Women".

Because that title, and the fact that they didn't make another one for men, wasn't enough to get them into a little bit of trouble, instead they filled the memo with all sorts of goodies.

Some of the things included:

-"Like" you've got to lose "um" and "uh," "you know," "OK," and "Like."

- Don't giggle; Don't squirm; Don't tilt your head.

- Practice hard words.

- Wear a suit, not your party outfit.

And my favorite:

- No one heard Hillary the day she showed cleavage.

One would think that law firms would be smarter than this...

However most of these people did spend the money on law school and will never make it back unless they scam hundreds of other people out of their who knows.

Monday, October 21, 2013

What Do You Look For?

Over time I have discovered that girls don't know what they are looking for.

I base this solely on one thing: Myself.

Sure, I am vertically challenged (short, for the wordly challenged).

And I am not the beautiful hulk that they imagine. To be honest about myself, I am not great looking, but I am not ugly.

But I feel like other qualities that people seek, I possess.

College Educated? Check.

Full time job? Check.

Solid income? Check.

4 Wheels + an Engine? Check.

Sense of humour? Check.

Brains, not trains? Check.

Likes kids? Check.

A blog? Hell yeah.

So what is exactly that people are looking for that I am missing?

Oh yeah, I don't like the Beatles. That must be it.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

By The Numb Grace of God

Thought I wasn't enough
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Found I wasn't so tough
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
Laying on the bathroom floor
Don't know what you're expecting of me
We were living on a fault line
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
And I felt the fault was all mine
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Couldn't take it anymore
Every step that I take is another mistake to you

By the grace of God
(There was no other way)
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
I picked myself back up
(I knew I had to stay)
Become so tired, so much more aware
I put one foot in front of the other and I
I'm becoming this, all I want to do
Looked in the mirror and decided to stay
Is be more like me and be less like you
Wasn't gonna let love take me out that way

Can't you see that you're smothering me,
I know I am enough, possible to be loved
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control?
It was not about me
'Cause everything that you thought I would be
Now I have to rise above
Has fallen apart right in front of you.
Let the universe call the bluff
Every step that I take is another mistake to you.
Yeah, the truth will set you free
And every second I waste is more than I can take.

By the grace of God
(There was no other way)
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
I picked myself back up
(I knew I had to stay)
Become so tired, so much more aware
I put one foot in front of the other and I
I'm becoming this, all I want to do
Looked in the mirror and decided to stay
Is be more like me and be less like you
Wasn't gonna let love take me out that way

And I know
I may end up failing too.
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you.

By the grace of God
(There was no other way)
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
I picked myself back up
(I knew I had to stay)
Become so tired, so much more aware
I put one foot in front of the other and I
I'm becoming this, all I want to do
Looked in the mirror and decided to stay
Is be more like me and be less like you
Wasn't gonna let love take me out that way

-A mashup of the wonderful words of Mike and Katy, that couldn't be more perfect

Thursday, October 10, 2013


I've been thinking about death a lot recently, and I've come to two realizations on it.

First, people are scared of dying. I'm not, just because if I die, I would have nothing to be scared of, and nothing to worry about, so what exactly is the fear?
Yes, this could be because I don't have that someone close, who I think it would hurt if I died, so I guess that at some point I could develop a fear for death, at which point I may choose to come back to here and update this.

The other thing I've come to realize, is that death can come suddenly.

My parents are in their mid-60s, which when I think about it, is not overall that old, but when you look at some of the people that have passed away this year, is all of a sudden right in the middle of the pack.
People like Hugo Chavez and James Gandolfini, who were 58 and 51, all of a sudden got up and died (more-so a shock with Gandolfini then Chavez).

At some point in our lives we will all experience the death of close ones. Its inevitable. For some people, unfortunately, its experienced when they are young, others don't until much later in life.

I can't seem to decide which is worse.

Is it worse to lose that person close to you when you are younger, and then miss them the rest of your life.

Or is it harder on you to get close to them as you get older, and then suddenly they are gone.

This isn't my first post about death, and I'm sure it won't be my last, although some thoughts on it have popped up on this blog, but by now, I've "drafted" them, as they weren't thoughts I was supposed to be no normal person would...I guess just another example that I'm not normal.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

End of an Era

One of the greatest writers of our time has died.

Tom Clancy.

You may have noticed him as one of the Easter Eggs of this blog, tagged as a label for many of my posts.

From the "Ryanverse" featuring John Patrick (Jack) Ryan (Hunt for Red October, Patriot Games, Rainbow Six, among others) to Splinter Cell, Tom Clancy wrote some of the best books of our times.

And longest books, I might add.

Two of his books (which were over 1300 pages each) were essentially one long book, with the last word in one book, being the first word in the next one (Debt of Honor and Executive Orders).

Personally, I have a full shelf of Clancy books in my house, and it will be one of the first books I introduce my child too, when I have a child, and when (s)he is old enough.

Think about the character of Jack Ryan, man couldn't hold a job...Marine 2nd Lieutenanct, CPA, Professor, CIA Analyst, CIA Asst DDI, CIA DDI, NSA, VP, President. Oh, and he is a Knight Commander of the Royal Victorian Order.
Could you even have a greater character?

And to think that now it's his son as the main character, passing on the legacy.

R.I.P. Tom Clancy. 1947-2013
R.I.P. Sir John Patrick Ryan

Another part of my childhood has officially ended.

Monday, September 23, 2013

Stupidest Creature On Earth

Over the first days of Succos, I rediscovered one of the stupidest creatures on this planet.

I'll give you a hint or two before I tell you what it is.

- This creature puts itself through pain on a daily basis.

- Even though it knows it was in pain yesterday, it will repeat the action today, because it thinks its a good idea.

- It will make noises and notify other creatures around it about its pain, yet do nothing to resolve the issue.

The answer is simple:


The pain? 

Wearing high heels.

I saw a girl walking down the street looking like a baby giraffe, with her legs buckling underneath her with every step, as she hobbled down the streets.

Girls, it's not your height that is sexy. Nor your ankles. Its the legs.

Making them taller and destroying your feet is just plain stupid.

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Ugly Jews in New York

Yup, I said it.

I have been on enough dating websites to have seen enough girls from the New York area as well as those outside of it.

When I see a picture, without a location, I can usually guess if they are from New York or not.

If they are good looking, I know that they are from out-of-state. However, if they are not-so-hot, they are generally New Yorkers.

Oh, I've also seen some weird ones, generally from New York, such as "A profile picture, of a high-school yearbook picture, on a bed." Yup, they didn't scan it in. They didn't take a picture already online. They took a picture of a picture.

Gotta love technology.

And random rants.

And penne ala vodka.


A bunch of my friends went to an event today.

I couldn't go, because all the tickets that were left were extremely overpriced, and came in sets of 2 or more.

I tried everyone else I knew who had an interest in that event, but no one wanted to go, especially at those prices.

So: Blah.

After three days at home for Rosh Hashona, I get to sit at home again today.

Joyous New Year to all!

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Morality vs. Punishment

Heads up, this post contains sports, but is more about morality.

Pete Rose is one of the All-Time greatest baseball players, leading the league in Hits, Games Played, At-bats and Outs. Add to that 3 World Series and batting titles, plus an MVP Award, 2 Gold Gloves and Rookie of the Year Awards, and 17 All-Star Games, his stats are hard to beat.

But for those that don't know him, their is a catch.

Pete Rose is not in the Hall of Fame. And if the league has their way, he never will be.

He is banned because he gambled on the game of baseball, including 52 games that he played in, in 1987, with minimum bets between 2K and 10K per day.

In a recent interview, Mr. Rose made a valid point, saying:

I made mistakes. I can't whine about it. I'm the one that messed up and I'm paying the consequences. And to be honest, I picked the wrong vice. I should have picked alcohol. I should have picked drugs or I should have picked up beating up my wife or girlfriend because if you do those three, you get a second chance.

He is 100% right.

He did an act that was wrong. And they didn't give him a second chance for it.

Others have done things even worse, and miss 7- 50- or 100- games, and then come back and continue playing.

The times have come to open the doors of Cooperstown for the great Charlie Hustle.

Mr. Selig, your last season as commissioner of Major Leage Baseball is next year, 2014. As a final act, grant Pete Rose admission into the Hall of Fame, which would be well deserved, as his outstanding stats were clearly not influenced by his actions.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Be The Best At What You Can Achieve

I went to Home Depot the other day looking for a particular light bulb.

It wasn't a typical bulb for an inside light, but rather a specialized outdoor bulb, that I needed in a specific wattage.

So while I am looking on the shelves for the bulb, I see a sales associate, so I ask him for help, showing him what I was looking for (I had the box with me).

So he takes the box from me and without saying anything just walks away down the aisle.

I pause for a second, and then follow him down the aisle, figuring he is taking me there.

He stops in front of a few bulbs, looks at the wattage on mine, and then starts searching in the shelves. Me standing next to him, see that they don't have in the wattage that I need.

He turns back to me, and just shakes his head to me, before handing back the box, and walking away.

As I was leaving I went to customer service, to find out if another Home Depot had the bulb I was looking for, so I could drive by and pick one up.

She said they didn't (after looking it up in the system), but then said I should ask the Head of the Lighting Department if he has any such bulbs hidden away somewhere.

She turns, and points me to the man who had helped me earlier, saying that he is the Head of the Department.

"Oh", she says, "by the way, he's deaf, but he'll help you find what you need."

And right then, the clarity hit me.

This man, who can't hear a thing, is in charge of the thing he does have full control over.

Sight. Light. And Darkness.

The lesson learned is that even if you can't do some things, find the things you can do, and do them to the best of your abilities.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Starbucks Baristas

Starbucks Baristas.

They control your life.

Your drink, if its messed up, can ruin your day. On the flip side, when made correctly, can warrant in a tip.

Why however do they question things?

I happen to always ask for my drinks "Extra Hot", since they are using cold milk, and that can leave the drink cold if not heated up enough.

The other reason I ask for "Extra Hot" is that I may not drink it for 20 minutes, and like this it is still hot when I get to it.

So when it was 90 degrees outside, I heard one Barista say to the other "Who gets their drink extra hot in this weather?"

$20's says she drinks Iced Coffee during a blizzard and doesn't think twice about it.

Monday, August 26, 2013

Car Shopping Dos and Donts

So I bought a car recently, and wanted to share some of the things I learned while buying and shopping for a car.
  • Choose what you need instead of what you want. What you want will cost you thousands more, but when it ultimately comes down to it, what do you really need.
  • The most classic example of that first point, is the seats. Do you really need leather seats? Or would the material seats be good enough? Personally, I went with material, because if you go on long drives, the leather gets to be really annoying after a short while.
  • Air Conditioner - Yeah, seems like a given, but the options on this are pretty ranged these days. Some cars just have air conditioning vents in the front row, others give vents and/or even controls to the people in the rear row(s). I got mine with front row vents, and soon came to realize, that it gets very hot in the rear row, when the front row can be cold.
  • Moonroof/Sunroof. Yes, their are two words for it. Yes, their is a difference. No, I won't get into that here. But I digress. While to many it seems like something they will never use, I got one, and actually quite enjoy it. It gives me the option (on the highway, where having the windows all the way down both is annoying (wind whipping you) and counter-productive (as the wind slows you down, using up more gas)) to crack open my windows a little, and open the giant hole in my roof fully, and get a wonderful breeze while the car is in motion. Because of this, I have actually used my air conditioning less this summer than I should have.
  • A lot of cars these days have an "Auto-Park" feature. Don't bother spending the money on it.
  • But one thing you NEED to have? Rear View Camera. While you wonder why I insist you get one, let me explain. I have been able to park, while using it, in spots about an inch larger than my car, without playing bumper cars. I also am able to do this, in one move, that's right - one, just backing in, straigtening out, and turning the car off, thanks to the help of the camera.
  • 2WD/RWD/AWD - This is usually one of the major factors when deciding on a car. And quite frankly, if you an afford the increase in price, go for the All-Wheel Drive. Because the day of that first heavy snowfall, you'll get in the car, and the car will just power itself right out, where your old little RWD would've been struggling.
At the moment, I can't think of other pressing issues, but any car shoppers with questions, can feel free to ask them.

In my search for a car, I don't think there was a feature I didn't look into, or decide why I did (or didn't) want it, or need it.

Talk about thorough...but it is a monster purchase.

Yes, I'm ranting, but I gotta go now, the mail just came...holy cow, look at this car payment bill?!?!

Sunday, August 25, 2013


Yeah, I will be watching the MTV Video Music Awards tonight.

And do you want to know why?

Nope, I'll bet you don't, but I'll say it anyways.

Because they are going to be awesome.

Where else will you see performances by Justin Timberlake and Katy Perry (plus tons more)?

But how many people remember when Britney stole the show in 2000?

For those that do, relive it below...for those that don't, pretend that you did and watch it! :)

Friday, August 23, 2013

TV at 5AM

I watch TV daily at 5AM.

And there is absolutely nothing on.

I've seen more infomercials for hoses then I need to. There are at least 3 different ones, that can all shrink to nothing and fit in your pocket. Not that I need another hose in my pocket.

So I tend to flip channels, trying to find something.

My two hopes at that time are Fox Sports Live or MTV.

With MTV, sometimes it is music videos, which work nicely if I know the song and the captions are in-sync.

The other one that I love is called "Ridiculousness". For those that haven't seen it, it's basically a hardcore version of America's Funniest Home Videos.

I have a basic cable that I watch it on (based off of Direct TV, but with the channels rerouted slightly), so if anyone knows of something good to watch at 5AM, I'm all ears.

Except not Law & Order or NCIS...I need to stay awake at 5AM.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Driving in NYC

A recent study found that men experience road rage 3X more frequently than woman do.

But as a driver in New York City, I experience it daily.

It's one of the things that makes people scared to drive here.

Everything from bikes in the third lane, to pedicabs going half the speed limit. And don't even start on the taxis.

If they have a fare, they will cut you off to get where they have to go. But have you ever been behind one that's looking for a fare? They couldn't be driving slower, and more annoyingly.

Almost as bad as the old people in the left lane on the highway.

Now, this may sound like a rant, but it really isn't.

I had a point to this post.

It's simple, you need to get over that fear.

Get out there and drive, do it safely, and keep your eyes on the road.

There is no more dangerous city in the world to be looking at a cell phone while driving. It takes just two seconds of a distraction to get in an accident in a regular city. Takes less than that here.

If you can't deal with it, don't get all the way into a side line, because the cabs will suddenly cut in front of you, to pick up/drop off fares.

Stick to a middle lane, and tread carefully.

Good luck people. And if you are in my way. I will honk you, because that's the worse I can legally do.

 photo jim-carey-bruce-almighty-sports-car-splitting-traffic-13647628730_zps3e855947.gif

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Dream Jobs and Bringing You Down

I am lucky to have landed in my dream job.

By dream job, I mean the one that when I started college I wanted to get, and through time and hard work have moved up to do.

And I am happy to say, I do my job fairly well.

However, there's one guy at work, who is a constant downer.

None of us know why he is so miserable.

It could be because he is no longer the youngest person to have risen through the ranks and do this position (I’m now the holder of that title), or it may be because he can’t move up anymore, since he’s clashed with the heads of those positions one too many times.

But last week, after a week of filling in for someone else, I was in a great mood, as I had done my job perfectly all week.

(Let me just throw it out there, that my work is seen by a lot of people, so if screw ups happen, which they do, they are often commented on, so with the amount of training I’ve had (still in the early stages), I am always happy when I can go long stretches, mistake free.)

And then he walked into the room, and decided to pick on something that was slightly off. And by slightly off, that should be read as “It was perfect, and not done wrong, just not done the exact way he would have done it”.

Man, it really brought me off my high.

But I stood up to him, and told him that he shouldn’t worry about it, and then walked away from it, not letting him get the upper hand on me.

And do you know why?

Because I’m an adult :)

 photo Imanadult_zps9fa484bf.gif

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Shabbos With Friends

This has become a theme in the “real world” of hosting people for Friday night Shabbos meals.

Oh, and by real world, I don’t mean “not in the blogosphere”.

I mean, with real people, like Natalie Portman.

Yup, you missed the chance, but you could’ve had Friday night dinner with her.

All you had to do was answer the following questions:
1.) Do you think it's a good idea for thousands of young Jews to come together in isolated areas every summer? If so, which camp did you attend?
2.) Seth Cohen: greatest Jew to be a main character on a teenage drama? Only Jew to be a main character on a teenage drama? Still socially acceptable to reference?
3.) Is your Bubbie the one who makes the world's best matzo ball soup? What is her recipe? Have you called her lately?
4.) How do you contribute to your community? Do you:
a.) Volunteer at soup kitchens
b.) Foster puppies
c.) Tutor children
d.) Assist old ladies crossing the street
e.) Dress up like a superhero and rescue your neighbors
5.) What was the theme of your Bar Mitzvah? To support this statement, please submit pictures of yourself from said event. Bonus points for Pepsi-7Up action shots and/or dancing with a girl at least a head taller with enough distance between you to leave room for the Lord.
I have seen a few organizations that do organize meals for random people, with an even amount of single guys and girls, in the hopes that someone might meet their match at the Friday night Shabbos table.
For more details on Natalie’s adventure, check the Huffington Post article.
Oh, and while I’m on her, how hardcore of a girl is she?
For those that haven’t seen her on Saturday Night Live, should take a look at this, but be forewarned, it's for Adult Audiences only.

She’ll never be the same Padmé Amidala again.

Monday, August 19, 2013

Jewish Dating Sites - Part 1

I have been on these for many, many months and years.

Signed up and paid for some of them, while others I just made the free account.

From YU Connects, to JWed and JDate, to ZivugZone and HareiAt.

But they all have one thing in common.

They are completely useless.

Girls make a profile, and never fill it in. Or make a full profile, yet don’t put a picture. Or worse, make a profile and never look at it again.

So you find one you like, and send it a message.

Sometimes they sit there for months, unread. Other times they are read within the first 24 hours (yes, some of the systems tell you when it is read), but never responded to.

Where is the courtesy? If you are not interested, yet someone took the time to write a message longer than “Hi, wanna date?”, couldn't you just respond “No thank you, I am not interested” or something along those lines, just so they know where you stand?

And if you are going to never use the account again, then click the “Inactive” button, so that guys don’t have to crawl through your profile, with a faint glimmer of hope, that maybe this girl will respond.

That’s right. The hope isn’t “Maybe she’ll go out with me” or “Maybe she’s the one”. The hope is that the girls will actually respond for once.

So sick and tired of this, but in a world where shidduch dating is full of lies (as no one can truly tell a shadchin what they really are, as its hard enough admitting it to yourselves), dating sites are the one fall back when you just want a shred of hope in your search.

On that note, I had a girl call me on Friday, who I had sent my number too in September of 2012. She started with "Hi, it's ____ from JWed"...yes, because I remember exactly who you are...been waiting beside my phone for you to call! Not.

 photo hellimliving_zpsf1b60fc5.gif doesn't fit exactly. But I still used it!

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Opening Up

Over the course of the 19+ months I have had this blogger account, I have had conversations with a few of my fellow bloggers, some of whom I follow, they follow me, or no connection at all.

It has given me the ability to see what people are truly like, especially in this environment, where people are open, since they are veiled.

And then I have met others on here, who have opened up to me, and I to them, about our real selves and personalities, and what we really want in life, or what we actually are like.

Part of the change in the style of this blog was that it needed a sense of direction. (BTW, background picture, taken by the Minds themselves. I think it's pretty cool.)

Last week I was talking to Cymbaline (from Obscured By Clouds), and she asked me what I thought was the reason I went back and read other blogs, and kept returning to them. And when I realized what that is, I would be able to blog better myself.

Well, whilst I was unable to answer that question, one of the things about the other blogs I read, is that they are all personal feelings, and one writer.

So that led me to get rid of the others, making this blog be more about me.

And to write more about myself, and my thoughts, than just posting for the sake of posting.

We'll see if it works out :)

Except Altie I guess...since I was all talk and no blog to begin with!

Friday, August 16, 2013

Changing Our Minds

Since the Minds were pried open last April, the look and feel has been the same (minus a 20 minute change once upon a time...which was a flop...and also had removed some fun Easter Eggs, thanks Jewish Gal for noticing that one).

But after a month of posting daily, the Minds are heading into surgery.

Over the weekend (and hopefully done by then) the look of the blog will change slightly.

Plans include getting rid of the dark undertones (AKA: The background), and contributing writers (The Cautious Couple will hopefully find their own way, and The Shomer Toucher, has long since left the blog-o-sphere), and hopefully turning this blog into a great focal point for conversation and thoughts.

Thanks to the 17,000 views before now, and for the next 17,000 views as well.

Have in mind this weekend Wondering Minds b. Tziporah Bloggah, and see y'all on the flip side!