Law Firms Getting Sexist

The law firms of "Clifford Chance" sent out a memo last week, to all female employees, with handy tips on what to do, entitled: "Presentation Tips for Women".

Because that title, and the fact that they didn't make another one for men, wasn't enough to get them into a little bit of trouble, instead they filled the memo with all sorts of goodies.

Some of the things included:

-"Like" you've got to lose "um" and "uh," "you know," "OK," and "Like."

- Don't giggle; Don't squirm; Don't tilt your head.

- Practice hard words.

- Wear a suit, not your party outfit.

And my favorite:

- No one heard Hillary the day she showed cleavage.

One would think that law firms would be smarter than this...

However most of these people did spend the money on law school and will never make it back unless they scam hundreds of other people out of their money...so who knows.

What Do You Look For?

Over time I have discovered that girls don't know what they are looking for.

I base this solely on one thing: Myself.

Sure, I am vertically challenged (short, for the wordly challenged).

And I am not the beautiful hulk that they imagine. To be honest about myself, I am not great looking, but I am not ugly.

But I feel like other qualities that people seek, I possess.

College Educated? Check.

Full time job? Check.

Solid income? Check.

4 Wheels + an Engine? Check.

Sense of humour? Check.

Brains, not trains? Check.

Likes kids? Check.

A blog? Hell yeah.

So what is exactly that people are looking for that I am missing?

Oh yeah, I don't like the Beatles. That must be it.

By The Numb Grace of God

Thought I wasn't enough

I'm tired of being what you want me to be

Found I wasn't so tough

Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface

Laying on the bathroom floor

Don't know what you're expecting of me

We were living on a fault line

Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes

And I felt the fault was all mine

(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)

Couldn't take it anymore

Every step that I take is another mistake to you

By the grace of God

(There was no other way)

I've become so numb, I can't feel you there

I picked myself back up

(I knew I had to stay)

Become so tired, so much more aware

I put one foot in front of the other and I

I'm becoming this, all I want to do

Looked in the mirror and decided to stay

Is be more like me and be less like you

Wasn't gonna let love take me out that way

Can't you see that you're smothering me,

I know I am enough, possible to be loved

Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control?

It was not about me

'Cause everything that you thought I would be

Now I have to rise above

Has fallen apart right in front of you.

Let the universe call the bluff

Every step that I take is another mistake to you.

Yeah, the truth will set you free

And every second I waste is more than I can take.

By the grace of God

(There was no other way)

I've become so numb, I can't feel you there

I picked myself back up

(I knew I had to stay)

Become so tired, so much more aware

I put one foot in front of the other and I

I'm becoming this, all I want to do

Looked in the mirror and decided to stay

Is be more like me and be less like you

Wasn't gonna let love take me out that way

And I know

I may end up failing too.

But I know

You were just like me with someone disappointed in you.

By the grace of God

(There was no other way)

I've become so numb, I can't feel you there

I picked myself back up

(I knew I had to stay)

Become so tired, so much more aware

I put one foot in front of the other and I

I'm becoming this, all I want to do

Looked in the mirror and decided to stay

Is be more like me and be less like you

Wasn't gonna let love take me out that way

-A mashup of the wonderful words of Mike and Katy, that couldn't be more perfect

Death

I've been thinking about death a lot recently, and I've come to two realizations on it.

First, people are scared of dying. I'm not, just because if I die, I would have nothing to be scared of, and nothing to worry about, so what exactly is the fear?
Yes, this could be because I don't have that someone close, who I think it would hurt if I died, so I guess that at some point I could develop a fear for death, at which point I may choose to come back to here and update this.

The other thing I've come to realize, is that death can come suddenly.

My parents are in their mid-60s, which when I think about it, is not overall that old, but when you look at some of the people that have passed away this year, is all of a sudden right in the middle of the pack.
People like Hugo Chavez and James Gandolfini, who were 58 and 51, all of a sudden got up and died (more-so a shock with Gandolfini then Chavez).

At some point in our lives we will all experience the death of close ones. Its inevitable. For some people, unfortunately, its experienced when they are young, others don't until much later in life.

I can't seem to decide which is worse.

Is it worse to lose that person close to you when you are younger, and then miss them the rest of your life.

Or is it harder on you to get close to them as you get older, and then suddenly they are gone.

This isn't my first post about death, and I'm sure it won't be my last, although some thoughts on it have popped up on this blog, but by now, I've "drafted" them, as they weren't thoughts I was supposed to be having...as no normal person would...I guess just another example that I'm not normal.

End of an Era

One of the greatest writers of our time has died.

Tom Clancy.

You may have noticed him as one of the Easter Eggs of this blog, tagged as a label for many of my posts.

From the "Ryanverse" featuring John Patrick (Jack) Ryan (Hunt for Red October, Patriot Games, Rainbow Six, among others) to Splinter Cell, Tom Clancy wrote some of the best books of our times.

And longest books, I might add.

Two of his books (which were over 1300 pages each) were essentially one long book, with the last word in one book, being the first word in the next one (Debt of Honor and Executive Orders).

Personally, I have a full shelf of Clancy books in my house, and it will be one of the first books I introduce my child too, when I have a child, and when (s)he is old enough.

SPOILER ALERT FOR THIS PARAGRAPH:
Think about the character of Jack Ryan, man couldn't hold a job...Marine 2nd Lieutenanct, CPA, Professor, CIA Analyst, CIA Asst DDI, CIA DDI, NSA, VP, President. Oh, and he is a Knight Commander of the Royal Victorian Order.
Could you even have a greater character?
And to think that now it's his son as the main character, passing on the legacy.
END SPOILER

R.I.P. Tom Clancy. 1947-2013
R.I.P. Sir John Patrick Ryan

Another part of my childhood has officially ended.