Tuesday, July 30, 2013

CC - Beds Together or Apart?

When we got married, we thought it would solve some of our problems. Now, before your mind tries to figure out what problems, we'll tell you, at least one of them.

For a couple of months before we got married, we'd go to each others house for Shabbos, at which point we would sleep at a next door neighbor, so that people wouldn't get the wrong ideas about us.

Don't get us wrong, we still hung out in each others bedrooms until 3AM Friday nights, but when the time came for sleep, we'd have to go back to wherever we were supposed to be sleeping.

And then came marriage, and it should have solved all our problems. Right? Right. Wrong.

We went away this past Shabbos to a Bar Mitzvah at a hotel in Philadelphia.

Seemed simple enough, we responded "2 people" and figured that the room would have one Queen Size bed, or something similar.

And then I (CG) got a call last week from the mother of  the Adult-To-Be, asking if we had a preference of one bed or would we be needing separate beds, if we had any preference at all?

Now, I am all for woman talking to other woman about their "niddah issues". But I had never thought of that topic before when going away for a weekend...

Well, needless to say, I asked for one Queen Size bed, since it really isn't any of her business...no matter how sincere the gesture might be.

On that note, whilst we do keep niddah (not that any of you should care, buncha perverts), we do always share the same bed, and just control ourselves during the right times.

We aren't animals.

MA - Just to get my two cents in on it...well, I really don't have any on this, except to say: Guys, if you haven't had kugel cooked overnight in chulent, you are missing out.

This is the first time I had seen a caterer do it, and surprisingly, they didn't mess it up by doing it!


  1. Since you're kind of asking for this by airing your "one bed or two" in a semipublic forum, I have say that part of keeping the halachos of nidda/taharat hamishpacha is not sleeping in the same bed when she's a nidda. It isn't enough to just keep your hands off her. You guys can't either sit on the same couch cushion or both hold the same object at the same time. So ya, that's why you were asked one bed or two. (It's halacha that you can't sleep in the same bed when she's a nidda, not just a precaution.) Otherwise by default you're getting two beds.

  2. What ID said. Sleeping in the same bed while ones wife is a nidah is actually not just an issur midirabanan, but assur midioraiysah. Even sitting on the same bed is assur! Chosson / kallah classes anyone?


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