Sunday, August 4, 2013

It's not pun-ny.

- Apparently Neil Armstrong used to tell unfunny jokes about the Moon, and follow them up with, oh well, I guess you had to be there.

- I've been seeing a weather girl, thought it'd make a change to date a woman that wasn't always right.

- Facebook is a lot like ancient Egypt. People writing on walls and worshiping cats.

- If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer....oh wait, he does.

- My new favorite band is Dog Whistle, you haven't heard them.

- Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.

- I was going to get a power-gate for my driveway entrance, but with gate power comes gate responsibility.

- School children shouldn't be separated according to academic ability, it'll only end in tiers.

- I've just bought a new Prince Charles commemorative teapot, it never reigns, but it pours.

- Dyslexic IT technicians wait ages for a USB, then three come along at once.

- Everything is edible, some things though, are only edible once.

- A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: Short enough to rouse the interest, but long enough to cover the essentials.

- Money can't buy happiness. But it's more comfortable to cry in a Benz than it is on a bike.

- My friends horse will only come out when it gets dark. It's becoming a night mare.

- I wrote a song about a tortilla. It's actually more of a wrap.

- I was once bit by a German Shepard. Then he apologized and even introduced me to his dog.

- I got an e-mail saying: "At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!". I thought to myself: That's just Spam.

- What do you call kids with lisps, born in whorehouses? Brothel sprouts.

- I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.

- I just found out my new toaster isn't waterproof. I was shocked.


  1. "I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose."

    Lol. Some of these are funny.

    1. Did you write all these?

    2. Can't take credit for making any of them up. I've been accumulating them for a little while, until I had enough to make up a post.

      I typed them all by myself though!

    3. Wow, talented! You are like a curator of puns.

    4. More like a crematorium technician...


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