Sunday, August 4, 2013

It's not pun-ny.

- Apparently Neil Armstrong used to tell unfunny jokes about the Moon, and follow them up with, oh well, I guess you had to be there.

- I've been seeing a weather girl, thought it'd make a change to date a woman that wasn't always right.


- Facebook is a lot like ancient Egypt. People writing on walls and worshiping cats.


- If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer....oh wait, he does.


- My new favorite band is Dog Whistle, you haven't heard them.


- Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.


- I was going to get a power-gate for my driveway entrance, but with gate power comes gate responsibility.


- School children shouldn't be separated according to academic ability, it'll only end in tiers.


- I've just bought a new Prince Charles commemorative teapot, it never reigns, but it pours.


- Dyslexic IT technicians wait ages for a USB, then three come along at once.


- Everything is edible, some things though, are only edible once.


- A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: Short enough to rouse the interest, but long enough to cover the essentials.


- Money can't buy happiness. But it's more comfortable to cry in a Benz than it is on a bike.


- My friends horse will only come out when it gets dark. It's becoming a night mare.


- I wrote a song about a tortilla. It's actually more of a wrap.


- I was once bit by a German Shepard. Then he apologized and even introduced me to his dog.


- I got an e-mail saying: "At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!". I thought to myself: That's just Spam.








- What do you call kids with lisps, born in whorehouses? Brothel sprouts.

- I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.

- I just found out my new toaster isn't waterproof. I was shocked.

7 comments:

  1. "I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose."

    Lol. Some of these are funny.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Did you write all these?

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    2. Can't take credit for making any of them up. I've been accumulating them for a little while, until I had enough to make up a post.

      I typed them all by myself though!

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    3. Wow, talented! You are like a curator of puns.

      Delete
    4. More like a crematorium technician...

      Delete

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