Wednesday, May 2, 2012

The Double Jewish Identity

Living as an Orthodox Jew (that is the first piece of info my followers learn about me) means that you have a double identity, whether you admit it or not. And this applies to both men and women.

You have that one that you show as you are walking down the street, or meeting new people, in which you are the perfect Jew, and keep this persona, so that matchmakers, and/or other Jews around you, think you are the person you are supposed to be.

The other side is the real you. The persona that maybe your closest friends and MAYBE your family knows. Ranging in things that aren’t necessarily following the Orthodox Jewish standard.

It can be many things, such as:
-          Claiming to Daven (pray) three times a day, while really, you do it maybe once, if you decide you feel like it.
-          Cursing/Dirty jokes
-          Eating at Non-Kosher-Certified Dairy Restaurants
-          Masturbation
-          Texting/Emails on Shabbos (Sabbath)
-          Pay full price for anything
Clearly the last one was a joke, but the other ones listed are all things that either I do, or I know people who have admitted to me that they do.

Are we proud of doing some/any of those things?


But we do them; because they are habits that we have gotten into already, and either can’t, or would rather not, stop doing.

This is what stands in the way of great relationships. The hidden things you do in your life, that prevent you from finding the perfect other. While others may be doing the same things you are, they can’t admit it until you are further into a relationship…which you never get to, since you both think you are hiding stuff that just isn’t right for the other one.

And always remember, the early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.


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    1. If a guy is 18 years old and watching porn and texting on shabbos - well, he needs to get his priorities straight too

    2. Why are we assuming everything is about a guy? Girls do all the above just as often.

    3. @Sarah
      1) Same thing I said to FG, stop assuming everything up there is about men...woman watch and hide porn just as often, although they are a lot less likely to admit it.

      2) It is a natural part of life, and it happens, to both sexes. Some things are just unrealistic to fully expect of people.

      3) What if those bad things he does, are the same wrong things you do? (Not saying you do any of the things listed above, but no one is perfect, we all do something wrong.) And I only somewhat agree on your next point. Yes, if she is no longer a virgin, her future-husband MUST be told of that, because he deserves to know. As for anything else she's done, if he has never done anything, but she has, she should tell him that they are NOT sharing in firsts together, but she may have done certain things before.

      4) Most of the people doing the stuff above, are probably closer to 25, then they are to 18, because the further along they go (especially the single ones), the less they start to care about some things.

  2. No one is perfect. It is not about having a double identity--all those thing encompass who we are.

    “We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are.”
    ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

    1. We act on both, but only show one to the outside world. The inside you is who you really are.

  3. Most guys I know are open about if they daven three times a day or not,if they cursing/use dirty jokes, or masturbating. No one I know (who claims to be religious) has ever mentioned to me texting/emailing on Shabbos or eating not kosher in dairy restaurants. (I do know one person who did admit eating a not kosher burger once, but really regretted it, and has since become even frummer than me.)

    1. Just because it hasn't been mentioned to you, doesn't mean they don't do it...

    2. Oh, you'd be surprised what people tell me. The secrets I know...

    3. Clearly they don't tell you everything, or you'd've heard some of these things before...

    4. Or my circle of people don't do such things...


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